


With Grace In Your Heart and Flowers In Your Hair

by moxietyisreal (haetalie101)



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Logan, there is a slight focus on Logince rn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 01:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12446580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haetalie101/pseuds/moxietyisreal
Summary: It was rather funny, he supposed, that it was he who craved affection so much. Most people would assume that it would Patton or Virgil who was like this, who longed for hugs and caresses.Or,Touch-starved Logan plus eventual fluffy Polyamsanders





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> its gonna be fluffy eventually but it needs to hurt rn bc i love The Angst
> 
> hmu at actuallylogansanders.tumblr.com!

It was rather funny, he supposed, that it was he who craved affection so much. Most people would assume that it would Patton or Virgil who was like this, who longed for hugs and caresses. 

They might have been at one point. Virgil used to avoid touch as he did, which may have accounted for how well they got along. But he had slowly grown used to tenderness from Patton and even Roman at times. 

Logan knew that the others most likely had concluded that he was uncomfortable with physical contact and he couldn’t blame them. They were only trying to respect his boundaries. 

Still, he yearned for just small touches at least. There were times when the others’ hands or bodies would brush against him and he would feel warm at last, with no trace of the previous coldness in his bones. 

He would usually pause in astonishment and the other would apologize, profusely if it was Patton, mumbled if it was Virge, and, surprisingly, concerned if it was Roman. Logan would shake his head and affirm that it was alright and then would carry on his way, despite the voices in his head that screamed at him not to.

He longed to beg them for some type of touch. They would gladly give it if they knew. But it would be unbecoming of him. If he received just one touch, he would fall apart and he knew it. The others, and worse, Thomas, would never take him seriously again. 

Logan would never be able to function again without touch after that. He’d beg and beg for more and eventually he’d become a nuisance. Even Patton, as kind as he was, would deny him on account of how irritating he would no doubt turn. 

He may have not been close to the others, how he yearned to be, but it would still sting ever so badly. Logan wasn’t sure that he could take it. 

So, he would long from afar, watch their cuddle piles and hand holding with envy, and try not to release all of the emotions that he had bottled up inside since day one. 

He could handle this, right?

__________________________________________

Wrong. 

Logan didn’t think he could take it for much longer. 

They had decided to have a movie night last night. Logan had declined since he had too much work to do. 

He had, at most, expected to come out and see the common room in a state of ruin. But, this, this was so much worse. 

The others were cuddled together in a pile. Virgil appeared to be in the middle with Patton and Roman beside him, holding hands with each other. 

Oh, how he wanted to join them. But, he would most likely only ruin it. He barely knew how to hug, after all. What if he made the others uncomfortable? And, once again, he had so much work to do. 

So, Logan walked over to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. He would need something to help him focus on his tasks. 

He knew that he was going to pass by their pile, but they seemed to be sound asleep. If he was lucky, they’d stay asleep and he could go back to his room peacefully and without hassle. 

However, Logan wasn’t lucky. He knew that and he expected something to happen. Possibly for someone to wake up and ask him to stay?

What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was for Roman to reach out and brush his ankle gently with his hand. 

Logan froze. The desire to dive right into the mass was high and he struggled to get control of his emotions again. 

Roman looked up at him, sleepily. “Hello there, Specs.” He smiled blearily. 

Logan couldn’t trust himself anymore. He promptly dropped the mug and ran to his room, ignoring the others’ cries of alarm as his eyes filled with tears. 

He wasn’t supposed to cry. He wasn’t supposed to want. 

But, he did and, oh, how he hated it.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman was worried. He’d never tell the others this though, of course. He had an image to upkeep, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, they already knew. Similarly, he could see the worry and anxiety on the others’ faces. They were getting better at reading each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman is a Worried Boyyy,, there will be lots of cuddles next chapter hopefully!!
> 
> hmu at actuallylogansanders.tumblr.com!!

Roman was worried. He’d never tell the others this though, of course. He had an image to upkeep, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, they already knew. Similarly, he could see the worry and anxiety on the others’ faces. They were getting better at reading each other. 

He had watched as Logan’s face filled with so many different emotions that he couldn’t decipher even one. He regretted touching him. 

Then he had dropped the mug, most likely full of tea, and fled, but not before Roman had caught sight of the tears in his eyes. 

His heart felt heavy with guilt. He had been tired still, having just woke up, and touched him, something that he was sure that Logan did not want. 

“I should…” He spoke aloud to Patton and Virgil. “I should go apologize.” He moved to get up, but was stopped by Patton’s hand on his arm. 

“Let’s clean up first, okay?” He tried to smile reassuringly at him. “I think Logan needs some time to himself for right now.” 

Roman nodded, resigned. He glanced over at Virgil, who was staring at the spot that Logan had stood. He looked up and met Roman’s eyes. 

There was a look of understanding in those eyes so similar to his. Roman longed to know what he knew, to know how best to comfort Logan. 

“No.” Virgil spoke up. “I think...Logan needs one of us there. Roman?” 

Patton looked ready to protest until the gloomier looking side looked at him. “I...okay, thats alright.” He looked over at the regal side. “We’ll clean up here. You go talk to Logan.” 

Roman sighed. He really had no idea how to do that, but he knew that it had to be done. 

He knocked on the door. “Logan?” 

Roman could hear a small sniffle. Other than that, there was no response.

“I know you’re in there, Sir Nerd-A-Lot.” 

He could hear movement before the door opened and Logan was standing there. His face was red and his eyes were puffy, but he otherwise looked fine. 

That should have surprised Roman, but it didn’t, not really. Logan had clearly been pretending to be fine for so long that he seemed to be an expert now. He longed to break down those walls, to reassure Logan that it was alright to be upset, that he didn’t have to hide from them, from him. 

Yet Roman knew that it wouldn’t entirely convince the nerdy side not to shield himself from them. 

“Yes, Roman?” Logan stared at him expectantly. 

“May I come in, N...Logan?” Roman cut himself off, knowing that Logan may not appreciate his ‘nicknames’ right now. 

He nodded silently and stepped aside to allow the royal side in. 

“What is it that you need?” 

In that second, Roman made an impulsive decision. He watched Logan turn around and then suddenly leant forward, wrapping his arms around the other side. 

“W..wh…” Logan froze, arms hovering above Roman’s shoulders as if he had no idea where to place his hands. As if he had never had a hug. And, as Roman realized at that moment, he never really had. 

Sure, Patton had given him miniscule, quick ones. But he had never been cradled, not like Roman was now. 

Logan slowly relaxed into the embrace, hesitantly placing his hands on Roman’s back. 

Roman rubbed his back softly. “You okay, Specs?” He asked, gently. 

Logan nodded hesitantly. This was...more than he ever could have dreamed of. 

Roman pulled back slightly, shushing Logan when he whined. “Here, let’s sit down.” He lead them both over to the bed. 

He pulled Logan back to him, pretending not to notice the way that he nuzzled into the other. 

He gently leaned back, pulling Logan with him, until they both laid on the bed. 

The room was silent until Logan spoke up. 

“C...can you sing to me?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Never-”

“No, no, that’s okay!” Roman interjected. “I just wasn’t sure that I had heard you correctly. I mean, you? Want to hear my singing?” 

Logan frowned at his teasing. “Believe it or not, I do enjoy hearing your voice.”

“Well, that certainly boosts my ego.” He smiled. “Any requests?”

Logan shook his head. 

“Okay then. Let’s see…” Roman thought about it before smiling. “Ah, I know.” 

He opened his mouth and began to sing.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're fast asleep  
In dreams you will lose your heartaches  
Whatever you wish for, you keep  
Have faith in your dreams and someday  
Your rainbow will come smiling through  
No matter how your heart is grieving  
If you keep on believing  
The dream that you wish will come true  
A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're fast asleep  
In dreams you will lose your heartaches  
Whatever you wish for, you keep  
Have faith in your dreams and someday  
Your rainbow will come smiling through  
No matter how your heart is grieving  
If you keep on believing  
The dream that you wish will come true…”

Roman held out that last note before turning back to his companion. “So, how was that?” 

He received a soft snore in response and smiled. “Goodnight, darling.” 

He got up, frowning at Logan’s whimper in response to this. He didn’t really want to leave him like this, but he needed to talk to the others about this and decide a strategy for helping with it. 

Roman tucked the covers of the bed around Logan before laying a small kiss onto his forehead. “I’ll be back, darling.” 

Then he walked decisively out of the room, closing the door softly behind him and going on his way, down the hall.


End file.
